U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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