brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
