Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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