Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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