you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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