I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
