we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
