My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize