Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
