Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
