My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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