You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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