his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
