Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize