he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
