It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
