Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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