Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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