I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
