I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
