I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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