This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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