she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I want a musical about memes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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