I'm eating all of the evidence.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
