My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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