Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
