Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
