Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
