so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
