Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
