i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
