i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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