left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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