I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would ride that face into the sunset
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
