Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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