My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
