I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
