carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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