Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
