How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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