why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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