also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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