Cold hands, warm shart.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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