How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
