i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
