Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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