if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
