oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize