This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
