He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
