you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize