i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize