My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
