Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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