It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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