Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
