Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
