you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
