party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
