just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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