Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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