My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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