Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
